Are you from the LGBTQ+ community and feel pressured into a heterosexual marriage? Here's how you can seek help.

 If you haven’t come out to your parents or family yet about your sexual orientation, it can be challenging for you to avoid the topic of heterosexual marriage? 

How do you tell your parents that you’re not into heterosexual marriage but rather prefer something nonbinary and non-conforming? 

Do you even have to tell your parents that or is there another way around it? 

How do you seek help if you’re feeling forced into a marriage?

1. Seek therapy - There is always a benefit to having someone hear you out. After you feel heard, you can easily connect with more people and feel less isolated. Therapy is deeply helpful. It might not stop the pressure from your parents but it will certainly help to release it. Talking honestly about your feelings is empowering and helps you to understand your own identity more firmly. 

2. Work towards becoming financially independent - This will help you tremendously in every area of your life. Financial independence is the key to other forms of independence in life. Once you are financially independent, you will be able to stand up to your parents more easily and be more honest with them about your life and preferences. Even if they threaten to cut you off financially, as many parents do when children come out, it will not affect you since you are financially independent. 

3. Build a support system of friends you can be honest with - When a family fails you, you need a support system of friends who you can be honest with and turn to when you need them. A friend in need is a friend indeed. It’s best if you can ask your friends to help you just by being there and listening to you. Moreover, friends can also offer you space in case things get too bad with your family and you feel forced into a heterosexual marriage.

4. Do the hard thing and educate your parents - Most parents don’t support LGBTQ+ children because they are not aware of their sexual orientation or feel uncomfortable. The worst part is when they feel like it’s unnatural to be LGBTQ+. Educating them is a good option. You could even introduce them to your therapist or a local trusted family doctor who can educate them about how LGBTQ+ is a completely normal sexual orientation. It does not have to go be someone you directly associate with, it can be someone who your parents trust deeply. 

Talking to people around, reading the newspaper, and staying updated about more strategies to overcome parental pressure will also help you. No single resource will contain all the information or material you need. You must seek empowerment within and find the courage to stand up for your own truth. If you are from the LGBTQ+ community, your choice to get into a heterosexual marriage without resonating with it will impact your future partner as well.

Should you drink on your first date?

 You tell us what you want to do! Do you feel like drinking on your first date to loosen up and keep it real? If you really feel like drinking is right at the moment where maybe you are ordering a nice meal and want a wine to go with it? You should definitely do that. One drink is good, two drinks are okay and three drinks might just pass the wrong message. Do everything with your heart in it however don’t overdo it since it’s just your first date. 

If someone judges you for drinking, well you have your answer! If you’re a man and you’re drinking, one advice is you should certainly offer the woman you’re with a drink too. It’s totally okay for you to order the first drink if you’re a woman - by the way. No one should judge or be judged for drinking on the first date. 

Moreover, it’s also crucial to remember that you want to ensure the other person is comfortable with you drinking. It’s a good idea to ask - “Is it okay if I order a drink?” before you go on and order one. Giving the person you’re with a heads up helps to boost their comfort level with you. 

If your first date is a sip-and-paint date where you are sipping some wine while enjoying a painting session, it’s a given that you will be drinking a little bit. However, if you don’t want to drink in such a situation too, please let the person you’re with know that you don’t enjoy drinking and prefer something nonalcoholic. It’s totally okay to get something without alcohol too. 

There’s no definite answer for what one should and shouldn’t do on a first date. It very much depends on what you feel like doing and what feels right to you. You might just go with your gut feeling and instinct without worrying about it too much. If the date goes well and if it’s meant to work out, it will. There’s no point in stressing over the minute details. The beauty of a first date lies in what you observe about the other person rather than what you plan to show about yourself. The best advice is to simply be yourself. The right match will come by. 

Whether you want to drink on your first date or not - don’t stress it, just do what you feel like doing. However, don’t drink too much either. A drink or two is okay. Do keep in mind your capacity and drink accordingly. You don’t want to put the other person off.