Are you from the LGBTQ+ community and feel pressured into a heterosexual marriage? Here's how you can seek help.

 If you haven’t come out to your parents or family yet about your sexual orientation, it can be challenging for you to avoid the topic of heterosexual marriage? 

How do you tell your parents that you’re not into heterosexual marriage but rather prefer something nonbinary and non-conforming? 

Do you even have to tell your parents that or is there another way around it? 

How do you seek help if you’re feeling forced into a marriage?

1. Seek therapy - There is always a benefit to having someone hear you out. After you feel heard, you can easily connect with more people and feel less isolated. Therapy is deeply helpful. It might not stop the pressure from your parents but it will certainly help to release it. Talking honestly about your feelings is empowering and helps you to understand your own identity more firmly. 

2. Work towards becoming financially independent - This will help you tremendously in every area of your life. Financial independence is the key to other forms of independence in life. Once you are financially independent, you will be able to stand up to your parents more easily and be more honest with them about your life and preferences. Even if they threaten to cut you off financially, as many parents do when children come out, it will not affect you since you are financially independent. 

3. Build a support system of friends you can be honest with - When a family fails you, you need a support system of friends who you can be honest with and turn to when you need them. A friend in need is a friend indeed. It’s best if you can ask your friends to help you just by being there and listening to you. Moreover, friends can also offer you space in case things get too bad with your family and you feel forced into a heterosexual marriage.

4. Do the hard thing and educate your parents - Most parents don’t support LGBTQ+ children because they are not aware of their sexual orientation or feel uncomfortable. The worst part is when they feel like it’s unnatural to be LGBTQ+. Educating them is a good option. You could even introduce them to your therapist or a local trusted family doctor who can educate them about how LGBTQ+ is a completely normal sexual orientation. It does not have to go be someone you directly associate with, it can be someone who your parents trust deeply. 

Talking to people around, reading the newspaper, and staying updated about more strategies to overcome parental pressure will also help you. No single resource will contain all the information or material you need. You must seek empowerment within and find the courage to stand up for your own truth. If you are from the LGBTQ+ community, your choice to get into a heterosexual marriage without resonating with it will impact your future partner as well.

Should you drink on your first date?

 You tell us what you want to do! Do you feel like drinking on your first date to loosen up and keep it real? If you really feel like drinking is right at the moment where maybe you are ordering a nice meal and want a wine to go with it? You should definitely do that. One drink is good, two drinks are okay and three drinks might just pass the wrong message. Do everything with your heart in it however don’t overdo it since it’s just your first date. 

If someone judges you for drinking, well you have your answer! If you’re a man and you’re drinking, one advice is you should certainly offer the woman you’re with a drink too. It’s totally okay for you to order the first drink if you’re a woman - by the way. No one should judge or be judged for drinking on the first date. 

Moreover, it’s also crucial to remember that you want to ensure the other person is comfortable with you drinking. It’s a good idea to ask - “Is it okay if I order a drink?” before you go on and order one. Giving the person you’re with a heads up helps to boost their comfort level with you. 

If your first date is a sip-and-paint date where you are sipping some wine while enjoying a painting session, it’s a given that you will be drinking a little bit. However, if you don’t want to drink in such a situation too, please let the person you’re with know that you don’t enjoy drinking and prefer something nonalcoholic. It’s totally okay to get something without alcohol too. 

There’s no definite answer for what one should and shouldn’t do on a first date. It very much depends on what you feel like doing and what feels right to you. You might just go with your gut feeling and instinct without worrying about it too much. If the date goes well and if it’s meant to work out, it will. There’s no point in stressing over the minute details. The beauty of a first date lies in what you observe about the other person rather than what you plan to show about yourself. The best advice is to simply be yourself. The right match will come by. 

Whether you want to drink on your first date or not - don’t stress it, just do what you feel like doing. However, don’t drink too much either. A drink or two is okay. Do keep in mind your capacity and drink accordingly. You don’t want to put the other person off. 

Here are 10 things to consider when you tie the knot with someone.

Here are 9 things to consider when you tie the knot with someone

1. Do you and your partner have clarity about long-term goals and expectations from each other? Long-term goals influence long-term relationships. 

2. Do you and your partner have alignment on wanting children or not wanting them? Do you share the same ideas of values you want to raise your kids with? This is a strong topic couples tend to argue over and you might not want to get into arguments about this in the future. 

3. Does your partner’s family give you space or intrude in your personal matters? Things could be the same or get worse after marriage when it’s difficult for you to break out of the relationship. A family background and value check are as important as your partner’s background check on values. 

4. Does your partner have a stable career to make independent decisions or are they tied up in their family business and cannot make their own financial decisions? It’s important to be a part of good financial decisions around you. Moreover, it’s important to have a partner who can make financial decisions independently. Often in family business scenarios, people cannot make their own decisions.

5.  Is your partner supportive of you doing things by yourself? It’s crucial to find someone who supports you in doing things by yourself and experiencing the joys of life. Your independence should fuel your partner, not threaten them. 

6. Is your partner open to feedback and healthy criticism? Are they open to changing themselves and experiencing growth? It’s crucial to have a partner who is willing to change and grow when the right moment comes. We cannot all be the same versions of ourselves at different points in our life. It’s crucial to find a partner who supports your growth by opening themselves to grow as well. 

7. Does your partner have bad habits that you dislike? Have you had a conversation with them about it yet? How can you talk to them and share your honest feelings about it? Everyone has some habits that tick other people off. It’s crucial, to be honest, and share those habits with your partner so that they know what habits are ticking you off. This will also give them the opportunity to change themselves. 

8. Is your partner okay with spending time by themselves? Do they constantly need people around them and are using people as an escape or do they genuinely love people around them? This is a very important question. Most often people are using other people as an escape from their own life. It’s crucial to understand if your partner really loves you or is merely using you to escape from other things in life. 

9. Is your partner honest with you or merely trying to fuel your ego? This is an important question that you must answer for yourself. An honest partner might hurt your feelings but cause you to change yourself for the better. A partner who is saying good things to make you feel better might help you in the short term but not enough in the long term. In a relationship, the long term matters more than the short term. 

5 Modern date ideas. Read these and thank us later.

 Modern date ideas are all we need in 2023 for date planning. Going to the movies or for lunch at a restaurant has now become boring. We need something more creative for a first date to ensure things kick off well and we make memories for a lifetime. As they say, if it starts well, it’s a good beginning. 

Here are some cool first-date ideas that will set a good course for things to follow. 

1. Cycle around your city - What’s better than walking around together or going out for a car trip? Take a sustainable biking trip around the city and cycle your heart out. You can keep it low key and simple to let your inner child out and bond with each other. While something extravagant may feel more date-like, a simple bonding session over a cycling trip helps. And you both also get some fresh air on the way. 

2. Volunteer together to connect more meaningfully - You can also plan your first date around something meaningful, be it a beach clean up or an awareness drive. Doing something meaningful together can create some core memories and play a role in making you aware about your potential partner’s beliefs. You will also be able to see their compassionate side and reveal your own while creating a good impact on this world.

3. Sip and paint - You don’t have to be the best artist in the world to try this. You can be just good enough. Attend a sip and paint session so you can enjoy each other’s company while unleashing your creative side. It’s a good idea to bond over art and a good glass of wine. A dreamy date indeed. 

4. Go to a local market together - There is something charming about local and cute markets. You don’t have to visit a fancy shopping mall for a first date or eat at an expensive restaurant. You could do something simple like visit a local handicrafts market and see things you haven’t seen before. You could also visit an antiques market and talk about the old heritage items in the stores. It’s an interesting conversation for the first time and surely something you will remember for a good time to come. Don’t forget some local street coffee or a good cuppa chai to bond over. 

5. Watch a theater performance - Most people choose something easy like a movie for a first date. However, there is a little charm to that. You could watch a play at a theater together and bond over that to truly connect over the little things in life. Watching people perform live and seeing their emotions on stage is a completely different awe-inspiring experience. Imagine - you will have so much to talk about after the first date! 

Let us know in the comments which of these you tried and how you enjoyed your first date! Share your date ideas with us too!

Does manifestation work? How to make it work in your favour?

 A lot of people ask us at MatchMe, does manifestation work? The simple answer is yes! However, it’s not like magic how most people imagine it to be. Manifestation is almost like science as explained by master manifestor Neville Goddard. He explained how visualization and imagining can play a crucial role in creating a better life. According to Neville, we are all capable of manifesting and creating the world around us. The best-selling book, “The Secret” also highlights how we can “Think, Believe and Receive”. It’s possible because if we can think it and believe it, we will act in a way to attract the very thing. Therefore, we will also receive it. 

Now, if it works. How do we make manifestation work in our favor? We must imagine the best possible outcome for us to ensure that the best takes place in our life. Moreover, a lot of people expect manifestation to give results quickly but just like the Earth takes time to spin on its axis and complete a day, manifestation has its own way of working that is not known to us. We must be patient and give it time to work out. Quick results are the biggest myth in this world. You cannot do an action only for one day and expect the results the very next. Manifestation takes time. 

A key way to make manifestation work is by putting in time to visualize the outcome we are seeking. Only when we have clarity on the outcome will we be able to work towards it and attain a goal. However, if we don’t have clarity, we won’t be able to attract what we are seeking. Manifestation works with relationships as much as with goals. If you have clarity that you want to take a year-end trip to Maldives with your partner, you will work towards it and save for the rest of the year to make it happen. However, if you don’t have clarity on it, you will not be able to work and make it happen. It’s crucial to have clarity and approach everything in a scientific way. It’s crucial to plan steps ahead to ensure things go right and happen in time. We cannot jump from step one to step ten. We must take it a step at a time toward our goal. 

Hence, manifestation when broken down is nothing but clarity and logical planning. If we plan and make it happen, it’s possible. If we subconsciously believe something is possible, we give it our best to make it happen. What is it that you want to manifest? Use a paper and pen and clearly jot down all the details. Make it happen. 

Why understanding the Chinese Yin Yang philosophy will benefit you in any relationship?

The Chinese philosophy of Yin Yang and the underlying Taoist philosophy has been preached by many love experts across the world. This philosophy has also been propagated by people who have been happily married for over 50 years! Surely, there is something special about this philosophy that has ensured people are speaking about it for so many years!

According to the Yin Yang philosophy, there is a masculine and feminine side to everyone. And this depiction is made with one side being black and the other being white. The philosophy states that no two individuals are the same. To live together, it’s important to appreciate the differences that are very much a figment of reality. Most couples tend to focus on similarities at the start of a relationship and bond over that. However, this is not particularly healthy. It is crucial to focus on the differences and find harmony with their existence. It is common for partners to have different hobbies, interests, goals, career expectations, life expectations, and opinions. It is important to appreciate these differences rather than expecting common interests throughout.

Moreover, when partners have diverse hobbies, both partners have different viewpoints to bring to the table. This results in a more powerful relationship with a greater perspective rather than a narrow relationship with the same perspective being echoed. Moreover, couples that have lived together for too long often feel like space is lacking between the partners. They tend to feel suffocated by spending too much time together. Spending time on different hobbies and cultivating those hobbies individually can lead to the creation of space within a relationship. Moreover, each partner also feels a greater sense of ownership over their own time and does not feel restricted to their social circle being only around their partner.

When both partners appreciate the differences between each other, there is also greater harmony between the partners rather than arguments to find common ground. While there is nothing bad about arguing in a healthy manner and having a discussion about a topic, often it leads to resentment over the argument and breeds more arguments. Sometimes, the argument can also involve a condescending tone which is detrimental to the relationship in the long term. The Chinese philosophy of Yin Yang appreciates the harmony that needs to be created for a long-term relationship.

Being happily married is not a myth. It’s a reality that comes with hard work and constant work on our own values and philosophy. For there to be a happy relationship with greater harmony and peace, the Yin Yang philosophy must be embodied in some form or another in the relationship. If you start following it, your relationship will be better in the long term!

5 tips for overcoming the "box-feeling" and opening your heart

In life, you might feel like you’re in a “box” where you can’t see anything outside it and your vision is limited. The truth is we are all feeling like that at some point but it’s good that you acknowledge it. Sometimes this “box” like feeling can prevent you from falling in love or seeing the love that you’re surrounded with. It’s crucial to overcome this feeling and feel free.

 Here are 5 tips to overcome the “box” feeling and open your heart to the good things in life. 

1. Try a healing class like Kintsugi - The Japanese art of healing is very popular and you must try it to overcome the “box” feeling. It makes you realise that your flaws are beautiful and make you you! Moreover, it makes you realise that we are all broken and beautiful in our own way.
2. Go for a solo trip - It might seem challenging to plan a solo trip and execute it but nothing helps more than being in the mountains or by the hillside on your own. A solo trip can really do the trick. You must explore someplace on your bucket list solo to see what you are truly capable of. 
3. Try an art workshop - Art is a great way to break free and to let out your inner child. Feeling boxed is common and sometimes just playing with colors in one form or another helps a lot. You must try an art workshop or visit a sculpting center where you can play like a child and create something. This will reinstate your confidence and make you feel more free. It will also add a new jest to your life.
4. Don’t stay indoors too much - Often staying indoors for too long can create a negative feeling in you without you realizing it. Staying in your comfort zone for too long is never good. It’s essential to step out of your comfort zone every now and then. If you stay indoors for too long, you might be feeling “boxed” subconsciously but you might not even realise it. It’s important for you to keep stepping out and perhaps take a walk in nature to understand yourself more closely.
5. Spend time with your favorite person - We all have a favourite person, be it a parent or a teacher or a best friend. It is important to spend time with your favourite person so you can let your heart out or just feel the comfort of their company. It’s great to spend time and do something you love together - be it watching a comfort film or watching the sunset. These things make you realize how much it would mean to enjoy these activities with a partner. Therefore, you will see your heart open slowly! 

Let us know which ones of these you tried and how they helped you. You can comment below or DM us on Instagram/ LinkedIn.

Will therapy help you to find a better life partner

The simple answer to this is yes! Therapy will help you find a better partner. Therapy helps one to realize their own unhealthy patterns in life and work on them. This realization fuels growth and impacts visualization of oneself, one’s friends, love life, career, and other dimensions. Once you break free from your own preconceived notions, finding success in love and outside becomes easier. Marriage not only involves working on loving someone else but also involves constantly finding the will to love yourself more powerfully. It’s about self-love as much as the more popular version of love we are seeking.

Often in life, one experiences trauma or has bad experiences in previous relationships. It’s easy to hold onto those experiences and shape our lives based on them. However, it is essential to build a new self and a better self. Therapy plays a crucial role in helping one to do that. It breaks preconceived notions and helps to build a new and better you. 

A lot of people expect therapy to work like magic but just like anything else, it takes time. Finding the right match for you also takes time. While you’re finding a good match, it’s always good to also try therapy to understand your own thought and belief system. As many people say, the match you find is often just as good as you. It’s essential to build a better version of yourself to find a better match too.

While many people might want to try therapy only to attract more love into their life. It’s crucial to keep in mind that we are complete within ourselves. Only if we feel that sense of completeness and fulfillment within ourselves can we find love elsewhere from a powerful place. Love is empowered when we are empowered. The goal of therapy is to find more love within. And that love within is what helps to breed more love outside.

Therapy is also great when both partners do it as an ongoing process. This helps to build and grow together and fuels a stronger individual mindset between both partners. Therapy is of multiple types. It could involve a conversation with a therapist, a spa, a healing session, or anything that makes you feel more connected to yourself and reveals something about yourself to you. There’s no single definition of therapy.

 Even with second marriages, often the partners who have tried therapy are able to break free from stigmas from their first marriage or overcome grief. It is crucial to find more power, healing, and peace within to cultivate that in a relationship. With any relationship, it is important to have two emotionally healthy people in the relationship. Therapy often leads to more peace in life and better relationships.

To answer the initial question - With therapy, you can be a better version of yourself and therefore attract a better partner too.